Joel Olson
2013-03-18 12:02:15 UTC
#If the eel that you feel doesn't feel like an eel,
#That's a moray!
The version I heard was#That's a moray!
"If you swim in the sea
And a fish bites your knee
That's a moray...."
Then there's also...
"If some county you've seen
North-west of Aberdeen
That's a Moray..."
When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That's amore.
When an eel bites your hand
And that's not what you planned
That's a moray.
When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four
That's some more hay.
When your horse munches bales
And the hole in them tells tales
That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife
Gets strangled in strife
That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight
Waves his sword in a fight
That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze
In a damp marshy place,
That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine
And you tied up her line
That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests
Like you did all the rest
That's some more "A"s!
When on Mt. Cook you see
An aborigine,
That's a Maori.
A comedian-ham
With the name Amsterdam
That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham
Is so full and so crammed
That smore.
When you go to Salt Lake
And you see Mrs. Blake
That's a Mormon -
When your friend in dis sports
Turns out to be a corpse
That's a Morte.
If two grids intersect
and a pattern reflect
that's a moire.
Need the Hindi for "our?"
I can save you an hour...
that's "hamare."
When the trivia game
asks for "Borges' first name"
That's, um, "Jorge."
In the _Post_ there's a Li-
-sa who writes 'bout TV
That's de Moraes
(Lisa de Moraes is a TV writer for _The Washington Post_; we get her
columns on the wire...)
When a former James Bond
Takes a trip 'cross the pond
That's a Moore, eh?
When a Stooge pulls a gun
That can zap Curly's buns,
That's a Moe Ray..
If a fine grade you win
at a college named Bryn
that's a Mawr "A";
When the Duck spells "complain"
with a fine bauxite rain
that's an ore "a".
When you swim in the sea
and an eel bites your knee;
that's a moray.
A New Zealander man,
With a permanent tan,
That's a Maori
When two patterns combine,
in a way serpentine;
that's a moire.
A politician who thinks,
That the'Labor Party stinks,
That's a Tory!
He tells jokes; he's a ham;
his last name's Amsterdam;
that's a Morey.
If "King Kong" had gone flat,
Rent the flick "Vampire Bat";
That's some more Wray.
"When French language you gain
And you come home through Spain
That word's 'rentrer.'
"When the flicks are your thing
And you like the scream queens
That's De Mornay!
"When your eye's got a beef
And med's <i>per oculis</i>
That's a sty made.
"When you walk 'cross a floor
And it's wood door-to-door
That's some parquet!"
If a Canadian Lass
Sees the bottom of her glass
Pour some more ay?
If there's a hole in the ground
In which copper can be found
That's a quarry
If there's frost on the vine
but it's very light and fine
It's just hoarry
If your truck's run amok
Now its stuck in the U.K.
That's a lorry
When you've had quite enough
Of this dumb rhyming stuff
That's "No more!", eh?
--
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